~living this beautiful messy life~

huuuge changes

huuuge changes



Its six weeks since I last posted.

Six weeks since the event that changed my dear friends Life forever – in ways that I can barely begin to imagine.
Its also 6 weeks in which my Life has changed – because of the hideous heartbreak my friend has had to endure…

Only an hour into my first day back at work following the death of my friends husband, my Love messaged me these four words: ‘put in your notice’.

I replied that I wouldn’t until we had talked that night – to make sure we were both very sure about what we were about to do.

What had precipitated this, was that my Love had come to drop something off to me at work and had read the obvious stress and upset on my face about whatever it was that was going on on that particular day – but which was pretty much the face of my every-work-day…

We discussed the topic of me retiring from work that evening.
The logistics of it, what it would look like, how it would work, when we would formally ‘review’ it to see if it was working etc, and then the next morning as soon as my bosses arrived at work, I went and handed in my resignation letter to them both.

As much as I have been working toward this point for a very long time – it was still a very hard thing to do – and I cried whilst doing it.
…and I’m happy, and I’m excited, and I’m terrified!!

I have been at my workplace for 11 years, and have been an integral part of the Management team for a long time.
I am entrenched.
I understand how people can become ‘institutionalised’, because I feel that it applies to me, as far as this workplace is concerned…

Because of the many huge changes that the business is going through, I gave the big bosses a hugely extended 10 weeks Notice, making the end of September my leave date.
I did this to hopefully not cause extra stress to them when there was already so much happening, and my resignation would definitely be another ‘fly in the ointment’.

A part of me now wishes that I hadn’t given that long, as I feel that I am just marking time – and that I need to be gone, and that they need for me to be gone; for us all to be able to move forward in our different ways – however between us we have renegotiated my leave date back by 2 weeks, but right now it still feels like an eon…

As of today I have four shifts to go, but that is over a two week period.

However – there is a very good thing about having given such a long period of Notice – which is what I actually planned for when I gave so long – and that is that I have spent the last few months being super-serious and absolutely dogged, determined and relentless about paying down my debts, and getting the things in place (especially anything I feel like it will be harder for me to budget for in the future) that I feel I am going to need in my ‘new job’.

And I am sooooo incredibly proud of the fact that in the last 10 weeks, I have managed to pay off $6387 in debt; I have been able to stock-pile some food, seeds and other purchases that I feel will be useful, and have also managed to still put away $150 in savings.

While that “only” equates to $15 a week, I don’t care – its still savings!!

And knowing that I have even a small amount of savings as a bit of a buffer in my time ahead – gives my anxious mind a decent bit of comfort…

Hopefully – once I finish at work, I will be posting more regularly – that’s part of the plan anyways! lol
Talk to y’all again soon,

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