~living this beautiful messy life~

mega update

Mega Update



So here I am – officially over 3 months unemployed!!

Its time for a bit more of an in-depth run-down of what Life has been like for me for the last three months – so I’m going to break it down into sections to help me arrange my thoughts a little better…
You better grab a cuppa – cos this one is gonna be a looooong one!!

WORK – The final Chapter:
A few weeks ago I went back to work for the first time since I ‘officially’ finished at the end of September.
I had to go back to check on some systems – but as so happened, I didn’t end up looking at them after all, and something that surprised me was: I couldn’t have cared less!

I had turned up to work on the Tuesday afternoon as I’d been informed that they were having a having ’soiree’ for me.

The majority of the Management and Admin crew turned up, as well as a couple of the Clinical Management team.

Perhaps I had too much expectation – but I was very underwhelmed when my departing gift after 11 years of dedication, was a childs ukulele with a smiley-face painted on it!
It very very much felt like they were taking the piss…

I felt really quite uncomfortable during the time that I was there, so only about 35 minutes into the ‘party’, I said my final farewells and headed out the door.
I haven’t been back since – although at some point I most definitely will – and there have been more than a few days when I have thanked my lucky stars that I am out of ‘the industry’, as I watch from the sidelines at all the changes that are happening – some implemented by Management, and some by Government Departments and new Laws surrounding the industry.
I am all for change – its good to mix things up a bit, and change is definitely very healthy in moving a business forward and keeping it current – but I can honestly say this: I’m glad I’m not there any more…!

At the beginning of September, our newest grandbaby (Mr T) was born to our youngest son and his fiancee.
It was detected prior to his birth that he had some cardiac issues, that would require for him to be operated on once he reached around 10kg.

His Mumma had a difficult birth, requiring substantial intervention, and she tore badly requiring her own trip to Theatre to be repaired.

About a week after Mr T was born, he had his first (unanticipated) cardiac event, which resulted in him being resuscitated, and then admitted to the Paediatric Intensive Care Unit (PICU) for monitoring.
Our son was obviously devastated with both his fiancee and his son in different parts of the hospital and both of them very unwell, and he asked that one of us go down to be with him and support him.

I was in my final days at work and was teaching the person taking over my job – so my Love went down and stayed for a week, until Mumma and Baby had improved and both were discharged to the local Ronald McDonal House, and my Love came home.

Within a very short time of being discharged, Mr T became fussy and didn’t want to feed – so Mumma took him back over to the hospital as he was due for a checkup.
Within moments of being at the Hospital, Mr T was whisked off to emergency, and consequently suffered another cardiac event – again requiring resuscitation.
Once stable he was again admitted to PICU, and was on life support.

His Mum & Dad were obviously beside themselves and again asked that one of us attend.
This time, as I had finished work, I went down.

Whilst I was there Mr T had a number of scans, and each one was showing that his issues were worsening – and that this was happening very quickly.

The Cardiac Consultants deemed that it was urgent that he be relocated to Brisbane, so within 48 hours he was on his way – still on life support and still comatose.
Thankfully – his Mumma was able to travel with him in the Life Flight plane but his Dad had to take a later commercial flight – due to space and weight restrictions.

I put his Dad on a plane later that day, then made the long 5hr drive back home.
That was on the Friday.

On Sunday, we got a call from our son to say that the Surgeons had decided that waiting until MrT was 10kg was no longer an option.
If he didn’t get operated on as soon as possible – he was going to die – and they were honest in saying that his odds during surgery weren’t brilliant, but without surgery – he simply would not survive…
We booked a flight for me to fly south at dawn the next morning.

I arrived around breakfast time, and at around 1pm, Mr T was wheeled off to Theatre.

Surgery took around 9 hours, and the Consultant and Surgeon came and spoke to us as soon as they got out.
He had survived surgery – and whilst they weren’t able to fully resolve the problem, they had tried something that they had never done on a baby the small – and it seemed to have worked – for now.

Mr T was on life support still, but within only a few days, his colour changed from a horrid grey to a healthy pink.
His blood pressure caused some issues, as did an unknown infection – but just under a week post-surgery, he was slowly being weaned off his breathing tube.

This happened over a few days and once it was complete and he was steadily improving, I flew back home.

Four weeks post-op, and the family had been flown back to the northern hospital that he was born in, and whilst there was one false start when he was discharged but bounced back into PICU within 12 hours with an infection.
He is currently home with his Mumma and Daddy – who are very grateful to have their baby in their arms, when the outcome could have been so very different – and he is growing well and is a super handsome lil chap!

Mr T isn’t out of the woods yet – he will require ongoing surgical interventions once he is older and strong enough, and as yet it is not known what other damage may have been caused or what further complications may arise.

You may recall that back in June, the woman that I had become friends with and with whom I had developed a really close bond, left town and went back home to her homeland of New Zealand.
Yep – I cried.
I’ve missed her – but as the saying goes – Life goes on, and I am sure that there will come a time when we will see each other again!

I have been and spent time with my friend who is (and always will be!) grieving the loss of her beloved Husband.
Its was so good to able to be with her – even if only for a short while.
We got to talk, and I felt humbled that she was willing to share her time with me…

There is another lady that I used to work with that I have been developing a slow friendship with – and whilst we have a lot of the same ‘issues’ and can relate on a variety of topics and interests, I don’t know if the friendship will be able to develop much past what it currently is, now that I’m not working and she still is. Sadly, I doubt it.
Her free time is weekends – and my ‘busy’ time is weekends, because that is when my Love is most likely to be at home – and my preference always has been and always will be, to spend time with my Love over anyone else!

So I sort of feel like I am back to where I was two years ago on the ‘friendship-stakes’ and not really having anyone close that I can have a cuppa and a mutual confide in – and that makes me feel a bit sad…
I tried doing a couple of online friendship groups, but it seems no-one is in my area – and I don’t wish to develop online friends – I want real ones!!

This is definitely the outcome of a Life that has been (by my own choosing!) so centred around my children, Spouse, and my work.
Looking back over my Life – whilst there have been a few people who I have become close to and trusted – they have definitely been few and far between.
My younger self didn’t put that much importance on such a thing – I just didn’t realise…

Since I finished up at work, and took two trips away from home to support the kids, I also did a stint in hospital when I got back from my second trip away.
It was never quite resolved what was wrong with me, but I had hugely high-grade fevers, rigours, breathlessness, low blood pressure, dehydration, photosensitivity – and in the post illness review – I also ended up having diarrhoea for 11 days!!

My hospital stays (yes, plural – there was two of them!) involved a lot of sleeping, pooping and being given IV fluids, all whilst being in isolation – with staff having to don gloves, gowns and masks for any interaction with me – and therefor not coming to see me more than was absolutely necessary!

My breathing remained quite poor for another fortnight – but seems to be back to its ‘usual’ level now, which isn’t brilliant, but is a wholllllle lot better than it as while I was away and in hospital.

My own cardiac issues haven’t been causing me any concerns of late – so that’s a bonus!

I have also gone back to swimming laps at the local pool.
I aim for 3-4 times a week, and for between 30-60 laps depending on the day – but 30 is my ‘absolute minimum’ promise to myself 🙂

And lastly – but definitely not the least of it – I am still a non-smoker!

I can’t say that I never miss it – cos that would be an outright lie.
It was one of the best procrastination tools I ever had in my arsenal, and there are certainly still days when I would love to go waste some time having a cuppa and a ciggie – but I know I can’t…
(though if I knew I was going to die anyways within the next 24hrs, I might just consider it!! :D)

Whats that saying?
Something along the lines of: we make plans, and god laughs!

I feel like the 3+ months since I finished work has had that line playing as its theme-song 😐

I had hoped that by now there would be some palpable pattern to my days and weeks, that would have developed from reviewing the last couple of months, and that I could then develop a rhythm that would help my days flow, and give some order (which I like to have) to my Life, so that when I am feeling a bit off-kilter or unsettled, I have that routine to fall back on, until I can get myself back into the swing of it!

However – with my trips out of town, and my extended illness and recovery, I haven’t even come close to managing to get into any sort of definitive routine of how my weeks would be!
I’ve simply been ‘wingin’ it’, and mostly being re-active to life, rather than pro-active.
For example:
laundry basket full = do washing.
floors dusty = vaccuum
fridge looking empty = go grocery shop

If I can get a rhythm going, then (hopefully) I will get to be more in tune with what needs doing when, and it will get done before it gets to the point of being an overwhelming job, rather than just part of my every-day chores.

I actually don’t mind housework for the most part – unless I let things slide too much – then it become a burden, and leads to overwhelm!!

My love and I decided before I left work, that in January 2020 we would review how things were going for each of us, and for us as a couple with me not working and being the stay-at-home House-Spouse.
Whether or not it was working out, whether it is financially possible to continue, whether there are things that need tweaking – or whether one or other (or both) of us is fed up with the whole thing and I need to look at re-entering the outside workforce pronto!

We did that – and decided to put any decisions off for at least another 3 months due to the turmoil of the previous 3 months, and the fact that we’re both happy with how things are going for right now.

So – we will review again in April.
My gut-feeling tells me that we’ll probably continue as we are and review it again in a further 3 months…
But then I could well be thoroughly delusional! 😀
A lot can happen in 3 months!!

The good news is that in between all the external influences since I finished work, I have managed to get some substantial work done in the garden.

I have been planting lots, raising seed, propagating lots, harvesting lots and doing lots of from-scratch cooking, and the majority of our vegetables are now coming out of our garden.

I have managed to cut down on a lot of expenses around our home.

I have been doing some studying to broaden and enrich my current level of Permaculture knowledge.

I am currently in the process of cleaning out our Shed (which is what we call our shipping container) and have sold quite a few items from out of there that were stored ‘just in case’ and for which we have no actual need of!

I have done another sweep through our home and gifted, donated or recycled more items that haven’t been used.

And I’ve continued to pay down debt.
I haven’t done a stocktake of exactly how much I have left to go, but I’m determined to have it ALLLLL gone by the end of 2020!

More news coming soon!
Until next time…

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