~living this beautiful messy life~

negative headspace

negative headspace

 

o0o

I feel so at odds of late.

In the quiet times when I am by myself, and I am able to spend time being introspective – I can see that I am in a season of a very negative headspace – and have been unable to shift it…

I teeter between feelings of anger, disappointment, hurt, overwhelm, being used, sadness, irritation, being taken for granted, feeling unappreciated, cranky and just plain ole miserable!

The only times I don’t have tears welling in my eyes, a lump in my throat, and those feeling aren’t bubbling to the fore – is when I have my game-face on.
When I’m playing the role and hiding behind the facade of being a ‘good’ employee, Wife, Mother, colleague, friend etc

Despite recently having had a fortnight off to go away to Brisbane to help our during the time that our youngest daughter had her first baby; my work life is giving my mental health yet another nudge in a not-positive direction.

I have tried to weather out the storm in the hopes that with time, my work-life would settle into a manageable rhythm – however that hasn’t been the case, and I have no time nor the mental and emotional energy left to try and wait it out.

So – this week I have decided that I am going to have to resign from one part of my job.

This isn’t something I want to do – as the part that I will be leaving behind is the creative part – and I would love to have excelled at it, and it would have given me personal feelings of accomplishment.

Writing that email of resignation won’t be at all easy – but it will be what is right.
Right for me, right now…

It’s important in the world to show kindness – but we must also remember to show kindness to ourselves – for we can not give to others, that which we do not have for ourselves.

Cheers,
Sarah

 

 

 

kindness matters

what do you think about this post?

This function has been disabled for Simple Life Farmer.