A few days ago, I was talking to someone, and they said to me: “smoking and drinking are two of the only things that I can control.”
It tweaked something inside me at the time, but later on, it really got me thinking…
For soooo many years I used to say the same thing to myself.
It was my business if I smoked or drank.
It was my body – and what I put into it was up to me.
It was my choice.
I enjoy smoking, and I like a drink or 3 at the end of the day.
I’ve earnt it dammit.
Butt the hell out with all your “well meaning” opinions!!
But then I realised something.
It wasn’t really my choice.
I was heartily addicted to not just the nicotine, but to the routine of smoking.
And it was the same with booze.
I didn’t ever drink before evening, and I didn’t drink after dinner, therefore I obviously didn’t have a booze problem.
And it sure as hell never effected my work life!!
But ya know what?
I did have a problem.
I was drinking every single day.
I was drinking at least a half bottle before dinner, but could happily do a bottle or more a night if I had a drinking buddy, or an ‘excuse’.
And gawd knows I still can!
But there’s a difference now…
Now, I often go weeks and weeks at a time, without drinking.
Without even thinking about it.
I mostly only drink on real occasions now.
When we’re out to dinner.
When we’re away on holiday, and go somewhere special.
The difference is – that I really AM in control of my drinking now.
I used to tell myself I was in control of my smoking and drinking – but I really was bullshitting myself.
It takes no control whats-so-ever to keep drinking, and keep smoking – what takes real control – is to not do those things….
Think about it!
(ps: in one of those moments of irony – just as I finished typing this, I looked up at the tv, which is on in the background, despite the fact that I’m listening to the radio (lol) – and The Morning Show on 7 is doing an article titled “Escapism in a Bottle”, about the prevalence of older women abusing alcohol!)